Dreaming of Escape
I would like to become a successful writer. I don't necessarily mean success as in fame and fortune. Although, seeing my novel on the big screen would be out of this world! But no, I don't really want to have to do deal with some agency telling me where to go, who to meet, nor what to write. That comes from within. My writing will be from the heart only. I don't want someone breathing down my neck, trying to tell me when I need to get something done. That's the whole point of working from home and being my own boss. I am tough enough on myself as it is. I want my life to be pressure-free.
My goals are to have a thriving blog where I will share my personal reflections on random topics. I plan to be completely honest and not just type things that I think other people will want to hear. I want to be real. My second goal is to write novels. I am currently working on one that has great potential. I hope to make a living doing something that I love in the comfort of my home and surrounded by my family.
One of the reasons, among many, for me leaving the workplace, is to relieve myself of anxiety. Every day when I leave the house to go to work, I get this feeling in the pit of my stomach, like I am going to be sick. My mind goes crazy with the possibilities of the day. I start shaking and sweating. I worry about something that happened the day before. What if I see this person today? What if they approach me about something I said days ago? How am I supposed to react? How are they going to react? What if there is some sort of confrontation? What if I say the wrong thing and they get upset? What if they don't like me? And on and on and on. Even though I know that 99% of the time nothing happens the way I imagine it (because I always imagine the worst case scenario), I still worry. This is an every day occurrence. I have to escape from this turmoil.
So, I would like to achieve peace of mind. I am going to stay home where the only things I will have to worry about is making sure I accomplish some sort of writing every day, keeping the house clean, and making sure my dog and husband are fed. That seems simple enough.
My goals are to have a thriving blog where I will share my personal reflections on random topics. I plan to be completely honest and not just type things that I think other people will want to hear. I want to be real. My second goal is to write novels. I am currently working on one that has great potential. I hope to make a living doing something that I love in the comfort of my home and surrounded by my family.
One of the reasons, among many, for me leaving the workplace, is to relieve myself of anxiety. Every day when I leave the house to go to work, I get this feeling in the pit of my stomach, like I am going to be sick. My mind goes crazy with the possibilities of the day. I start shaking and sweating. I worry about something that happened the day before. What if I see this person today? What if they approach me about something I said days ago? How am I supposed to react? How are they going to react? What if there is some sort of confrontation? What if I say the wrong thing and they get upset? What if they don't like me? And on and on and on. Even though I know that 99% of the time nothing happens the way I imagine it (because I always imagine the worst case scenario), I still worry. This is an every day occurrence. I have to escape from this turmoil.
So, I would like to achieve peace of mind. I am going to stay home where the only things I will have to worry about is making sure I accomplish some sort of writing every day, keeping the house clean, and making sure my dog and husband are fed. That seems simple enough.
Comments
Post a Comment