Woman of Transformation

Rereading the first entry in my journal reminds me that I have been transformed and that the process is never quite complete. 

I wrote of how my relationship with other women had changed. When I was younger, I felt as if I could not trust another female. There was an air of competition ever present. It seems a bit immature in hindsight but then again, I suppose that it can still be true even among adults. We want to be the prettiest, the skinniest (or have the largest derriere), the most intelligent, or be the most successful. We see another woman thriving in their lives and get jealous that we don’t have what she has.  

But thankfully my view has changed. I see another woman and I don’t want to be her. I want to lift her up. I want to encourage her when she feels less than. I want to be her biggest cheerleader. I want to praise her when she is doing well. I want to share her successes and shout, “look at what my sister has accomplished! Isn’t she amazing?!?”  

Of course, there are still some toxic women out there that I try to avoid. Those women who want to gossip about each other or call each other names when they wear something that shows more skin than what they would feel comfortable showing.  Does it really matter if she wants to flaunt that awesome body of hers? How exactly does that affect you? I don’t wear revealing clothing but that doesn’t mean I look down on those that do. That is their choice.  

Look, the point is, I have learned over the years that women have to support one another. It’s not like we can depend on men to do that for us, right? Not that our brothers can’t support us. They can. Just not in the same way that women can. Sisterhood is uber important. A woman will know exactly what you are going through. You know what I mean...hormones and such.  

I didn’t really know what sisterhood was like growing up. I only had a brother. Not that I didn’t have any girlfriends. I had one in particular that was and still is my best friend. But we didn’t even go to the same school, so I didn’t have her around constantly like I would have liked to.  

I met a group of women online a little over a year ago. We are like-minded in that we are open to different forms of spirituality. We don’t all follow the same path but we are all okay with that. We don’t judge each other. The group leader taught me how to be a witness for a fellow woman. You don’t have to offer advice or try to fix her problems. All you have to do is listen. Just be there for her. Let her know that you are holding space for her to open up and let her emotions flow freely without fear of persecution. I remember the first time a sister did this for me. It was liberating. I knew that I could share my feelings with her and she would just hold me in her love. This was an experience that I could not have had with a man. I just don’t think he would quite understand. 

There is still much more for me to learn. There always will be. Just like the wheel of the year is constantly turning, I will always keep growing. 

What would life be like if I were to become stagnant? I would have no purpose. So, I strive to keep moving upwards. 

I take my lessons from the tree: stay grounded and keep reaching for the stars.